Infinite videos and articles, countless “inspiration”, and yet I sit here mentally paralyzed and fatigued. We can seek solace online and still drown in the never-ending sea of voices, barely hearing our own.
When we consume too much inspirational quotes or listen to several advice videos, whether it’s for health or social media growth, it can all be overwhelming. It’s easy to not listen to our own thoughts. While there’s value in gaining new perspectives and learning from others, I’ve learned that it’s critical to be selective with our time and energy. Sharing a similar philosophy as Marie Kondo, if a person or type of content doesn’t “spark joy”, I’m learning to move on.
I have spent decades growing up with the internet and the way I focus my time has drastically changed. While I’m not immune to attributing statistics to parts of my self-worth, it doesn’t weigh on me as heavily as it did when I was 21. It took a lot of therapy and unfortunate health-deterioration to refocus on what is most important to me. Right now that’s my health, enjoyment of life, and making the most of things.
Being almost 30 with very limited energy, I try to have a balance of having healthy disassociation while consuming a combination of mindful and educational content plus silly, more entertaining content. I think the most beautiful and thought-provoking content is the ones that briefly take you away from reality and then snap you back feeling more introspective, fulfilled, inspired, and equipped to tackle your life. I genuinely hope the content I make can do that, or be somewhere in the realm of bringing joy, laughs, or relaxation (memes are important too! lol).
A part of that balance includes self-expression, and dealing with depression and anxiety can make it hard to find the energy to do so which is why I’ve been absent. Why do we constantly feel the need to apologize for not showing up? Who do we owe it to really? I get it, if it’s your livelihood then sure, that’s different. If you’re just doing it for fun, are apologies necessary? Do we owe it to society to have to show up and share our lives online? Probably for a lot of different roles, but it varies depending on our circumstances and goals. I’ve accepted that sometimes other things take priority. Right now, my health and tackling my anxiety / depression is the most important, and I’m making progress towards improving those. I’m learning that it’s okay to reshuffle things in our lives to make ourselves the happiest.
If I don’t create content or take the opportunity to express myself, I’d feel empty. I am still resting, recovering, and learning to find a happy medium between my passions, energy, and priorities. This delicate balance is a constant work in progress, but I do want to continue to show up.
I value a lot of the people I’ve reached with my content, and for anyone who has connected with my soul and has been impacted in a positive way, this is for you. I am rooting for you and healing beside you. I empathize if you share similar struggles, and am hopeful for the future for us.
As always, I thank you for joining my journey, and for letting me be part of yours.
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